Exit3DC: 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004

If I ever see that damn BMW-non-drivin'-takin'-off MUVAFUGGA on the road...

Satisfying my whiskey doodie was crucial last night. Skimming the transcript and watching a coupla' mpegs over coffee this morning works fine for me.

I mean, hell... its not like a MotoGP or something!

Which reminds me - I hope you have that shizz tivo'd - I missed the last TWO I think.

On 07/30/04 Pebble wrote:
Where were you at last night? Didja just crash out?

Crazy_j responds:
I was at home watching the Kerry speech. It was kinda important to watch, I think. What were you doing, drinking whiskey? Where's your scents of civic doodie?

While the VRod is in recovery...

When cagers hear an angry hair dryer... this is whats comin' up their arse.

Pebble urban assault gnat STAGE ZERO.

Non-essential running gear headed for the shitbin. STAGE THREE folly on the way.

I sphinck that shizz is RAD like a WHALE TOOTH WOVEN BASKET. Word to your (grand) mother.

Hey, Le Stiff. The song is Rad. Yeah, I said Rad. You wanna make sumpin' of it? I sphinck I might have to whoop yer ass.

Exit3DC meatloaf, whiskey and assless chaps at the local choke and blow...

Spank FK's exposed cheeks if you dare.
(orig. saved for later amusement - you baaaastad). peb.

holy crap! Peeble's new scooter is awesome but the way he's giggin' on it is beyond description...bunnyhopping where the suspension bottoms out AND scaring pedestrians at the same time...scooter burnouts...I didn't know a scooter could burn out...oh man!!!! That was funny as hell...made my whole day! It sounds like (in his words) and angry hairdryer...hahahahahahahaha...and that horn is waaaaaay intimidating...anyhoo...can't wait to see all the forthcoming modifications...

J. went home early; he was tired...awwwwwwwwwwww.

Bennet made excuses about not posting to the blog

Everything was Cassie fault

Everyone smoked too much and made some lame promise to quit some time or another...I agreed to quit although I don't smoke.

I made a jackass of myself with unsolicited comments about the fire door and it's improper use by bar patrons and residents next door...but it was fun; oh, and I took off my pants in the bar before I even had a drink and the people next to us were like: 'hey, he's takin' off his pants!!' and I was like: ' hey, he's takin' off his pants, hahahahahahaha shuuuuuuuuuuutup!"

I edited the song a bit; now we have to do an mp3 of it...hahahahahahahahaha...yes I weave baskets too...what of it?!!!!!

CB-FK 550 returned to its rightful owner...

I have to admit... I did have a few moments of bonding with that squeaky bedspring of a machine - oh yeah, I also soiled my trousers when I realized that the brakes don't work when it rains! HA! The charms of near-3 decade old motorcycle. I'm not trying to be an ingrate! I'm writing an article about my time with your bitch! ...but seriously, thanks FK - it was good to be on 2 wheels again, even if just for the weekend. I really am a junkie.

V-Rod is in limbo... is it totalled? Will it just be laid up for a month? The suspense is killing me!

FK will apparently NOT be joining us for dinner tomorrow night - we can all give him the shit he deserves - probably just trying to harvest as B would say... but he did loan me his bike. If you can't make it for dinner, maybe get you a whiskey later at least.

Speaking of B... where the hell is that boy on here? When was his last post?? Nearly a month ago this day??!! Oh, for shame.

Don't make us re-haze you. Let's see... I still have the potatoes, tutu, bearing grease, ummm... oh yeah, the snap ring pliers! ... and ice cubes, well... we can get those anywhere.

Stiffler... your song is beautiful. You'll have to sing it so we can post the .mp3 - I hear FK can wail on the harmonica. Bennet could play the fiddle or the washboard, I'll twang the banjo and Jay can just tap-a-tap-tap on his belly - speaking of which...

You sunofffaaaaabeeeeeaaatch. I'm estimating E3DC v.1 launch around the same day you grow some nutz. So we may waiting a while...

Art by: Miguel Calderón
Greetings from My Hairy Nuts
1996

Seriously though... I'm close. But I'm so pooped.

When's the new blog going up. Your self-imposed deadline came and went with your hairline. Just kidding. Not really.

Well then... I'm glad to hear that your itchy discharge is clearing up. I will be staying away from red ink...

In other news... a write up of my experience on the FK 550 is in progress for our launch. If anyone else feels inclined to execute a story idea - do it up!

Ode to Peeble(set to a bad country song)
By Le Stiffleur

Well I love my Harley and I love my girl too
some days it's kinda hard to tell which I love more
rollin down the road, wind in my hair; the sky's a beautiful blue
I'm always lookin' ahead, lookin' for trouble; ridin's never a bore

then one day I'm a rollin' down the road
just tryin' to get to work cause I gotta get paid
my hog's runnin' fine; didn't have time to sit on the commode
I'm easin' her down the lane; thinkin' 'bout things like gettin laid

then without lookin' comes a guy in a little red car
and by the time he sees me it's way too late
he stops right there; he didn't go very far
I thought to myself: this ain't lookin' so great

the gettin' got tough; things were happenin' fast
and I knew she'd never make it
grabbin' the brakes; I swerved behind tryin' to get past
but she shimmied to the right; I yelled: 'oh shit!'

right about now things weren't lookin' too good
the hog was runnin' wild; I'd taken it too wide
I thought I'd cleared it; I thought I could
at the last momment somethin' clipped my side

I lost control; the bars ripped from my hand
I'd almost made it but I hit the wall
I came off flyin'fast; I didn't know where I'd land
one thing was for sure; I was in for a hard fall

well the dust settled down; I turned around
just to see that bastard leavin'
I knew right then while gettin' off the ground
I'd never see him again, mornin' noon or evenin'

the cops came by; they'd looked for the guy
but the searchin' came up with nothin'
so I spent the day wonderin' how to get by
and to top it off; for time bein' I'd be hoofin'

now the night before I'd lost my girl
for reasons I couldn't even fathom
my heart was heavy; my head started to swirl
like the grand canyon; my soul was an empty chasm

So I went to the bar with my friends
the whiskey was strong and flowin'
life ebbs and flows; it curves and bends
but my friends are always there and showin'

that things were really quite clear
to decide between the girl and the bike
now I knew I had nothin' to fear
I called up and told her to take a hike

The tattoo appears to be clearing up. Maybe another couple weeks and I can get the red fixed up.

Let me adress the last few entries:
That was doody you slipped on, Pebble, not my mojo. I can't help it if I'm a freakin' stud. It must be the mustache.
Speaking of doody, it's everyone's duty to post to this blog. Dangitt, Stiffler's right, but just this once. How hard is it to come up with one funny quip a day?
EZ-B, you can find one funny thing a day. If at a loss, just turn your back to the mirror, take off your shirt, and peer over your shoulder. That rug makes me laugh every time. This will work for you, too, FK.
Finally, I could actually hear your tone-deaf asses singin' those blues songs whilst I read the lyrics. Hilarious.

Peas!

Cassie Fault... our favorite song writer chimes in with some inspired blues lyrics...

********************************
CF writes to Pebble:

You're turning into a cool blues song. The Pebble Blues!

Sing with me now....*cough*...light cigarette...cue harmonica...

I ain't got no Harley. *dardadadump*

Fat man cut me off. *dardadadump*

Messed up my leathers

and my girl don't know what to do

I've got the blues

the motorcycle blues

Gonna drink me a Jack n Ginger *dardadadump*

Gonna order a new suit *dardadadump*

Friends going to Reno

but I gotta stay in ole G'town

I've got the blues

the motorcycle blues...

Thank you, thank you very much, tips much obliged.

************************************

CF's inspired blues continue:

Ony to be fair my song would be...

I ain't go no money

and no helmet to boot

Haven't been on a bike

and my car squeaks a lot too

I've got the blues

I've got the motorcycle blues

I ain't got no bed

cuz I ain't got no truck

People at work give me donuts

So I can turn into the Pilsbury Dough boy

I've got the blues....

Sorry 'bout my sprodic behaviour - just didn't want to slip in any of Jay's mojo... Will somebody mop that up already??

Crazy (far right) and his "other buddies". Jefferson (far left) is the one with the "hot" girl...

...and we wonder why CJ goes for the Jersy girl?

man...usage of this blog is sporadic at best...or maybe I'm being cynical...hold on, let me check...nope, it's sporadic.

So, who were the two you "had"? Tammi and Dawn...man, she looks so hot in her acid washed jeans...That's the problem with 5; most of the dudes who go are cheesy...aggggghhh! There's always a fight outside too.

--This was forwarded to me by a buddy of ours. I saw a hot girl he's dating at FIVE on Saturday night and cockblocked a bit for him as about a dozen or so super cheesey dudes tried to grind on her all night.

"On an unrelated topic I saw Jay at Five later on that evening, he was really excited to see me because he thought you were around. I had lost the posy [sic] all except for Wynne at that point. Wynne and I have decided that Jay is too cute to hangout with girls that have what Wynne described as the 16 year old New Jersey girl look, he did have 2 of them though that was impressive. We also decided that what's funny about him is he's the type that's attractive but doesn't quite get how attractive he is. Your mission should you chose to accept it is to help Jay realize his hidden mojo and get him away from the Jersey broads."

--All I have to say is, "WhaoooOOH, livin' on a prayer!!!"

go here: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/stifler.html to hear my soundbytes...awwww yeah!

the first rule of Exit 3DC: there is no Exit3DC...second rule: always use human-fatted soap; it gives the skin a real glow...third rule: always use the buddy system in any potentially unsafe situation, such as running, swimming, hiking, scuba diving...showering. What's everyone looking at?!!!!!!

...holy jeebus Pebble! Those are knarly pics bro! We gotta post one of my snapped off slider so I can finally throw it away...hahahahahahaha...So, man you are lucky ALL things considered...good damn thing about the gear indeed! What a shithead driver...I truly hope we see him again at some point...he was probably getting an early morning hummer from some other dude or worse yet, some kid...they don't even rent that early and if he's fat and balding he sure as hell wasn't there to do a run. What a tool! So, I hope the frame is ok...looks mostly cosmetic other than shift bar. I still can't believe it! At least it wasn't your error like it was mine when the Duc went down with only 25 miles on it-false neutraled and lost control...not careless just inexperience/stupidity...man, you were sooooooo close to pulling it off too!

...or we can just all go out to 211 again for the sissy strip smack down...all I know is I'm glad to have been and begun to work on them...it's going to take several trips out there before I'm as comfortable as I want to be or think I can be...just that one place where you can do that with the bike; really nothing else like that...we should maybe do skyline one day...if we time it right there won't be a lot of cars/RVs at Gate One in Ft. Royal, where I used to train once a week...and just like 211 you really don't have to speed to make it worthwhile...we could ride past Panorama...stopping along the way...gotta wait for Pebble to get the Rod back though...wouldn't want to go without him...

thanks for calling on Sat. J but we were at the beach...hahahahahaha I was at the beach with my beeeatch! So, I can pretty much get out one day on pretty much any weekend up until we leave for Black Rock City; so, let's just start making it a regular thing on the weekends, weather permitting...hopefully B. will be in too!

I will break out the Pebble sanctioned sissy strip-o-meter. We will settle this once an for all. (yeah right)!

Alright, in the next few days, we should seek reader input on who has the biggest sissy strips on their tires: Eric or Bennet. They couldn't come to terms on this on their own, so we'll help them settle the issue. Pebble, we gotta get some photos on this.

I regret to inform you all that the Rod was laid down on Canal road
this morning. So back to the damn shop! The pilot (me) walked away in
good shape and damage appears to be fixable... so hopefully it won't be
too long until I'm back on the road. Waiting for insurance to arrange
towing. I was able to limp it back to the store, but it is in
perma-second gear and the front wheel is not quite round. Oh yeah, no
front brake either. Shizzz.

Here's how it went down. (Literally).

Travelling east-bound on canal road into Georgetown.

Compact red BMW with round balding man pulls out of boat house area
just as I pass. He sees me and, of course, slams on his brakes. I was
able to haul down some as I headed towards his flank - I thought I
could sqeak by between the rear end of his car and the stone wall.
Wrong. My right bar/front brake clips the stone wall. Now I'm not sure
if it was the bar catching on the wall or the front brake locking and
then ripping off... but in that millisecond the bars shook themselves
out of my grasp and the rod pancaked hard on its left side. I was
flicked off the high side like a booger skidding on my shoulder and
back. Either the bike or or the road whacked my heel at some point
because that is really my only bruised part. Shit like this always
reminds me not to skimp on boots. Foot injuries suck.

I see the bastard taking off as I'm skidding (pointing back). By the
time I get up he's gone. WTF. Bystanders and police very nice and
helpful, but nothing to do. I'm pleased to be as un-injured as I am
considering the force of the smackdown.

I limped the bike back to the store in 2nd gear... front wheel *k-plump, k-plump, k-plump*.

Working with insurance to see what's up - here are some pics of my nice shiny, shaved rod.

See aftermath pics!

... and to think I was riding FK's bike without leather!

Yeah, I saw yer post, but I sent you an email yesterday and hadn't heard anything.... I'd take you up there, beeyotch, but i get off work waaaaaaaay too late to be of any help. Plus it's supposed to storm this evening, clearing later.

What in TARNATION YOU TALKIN BOUT boy! Don't make me drop a darkie on yo ass. Don't you see my post there fackah? Need to go pick up my wheels tonight - anyone want a hairy bitch on your pillion for the evening? (V-Rod's at Battley's)

Pebble has gone ghost. Must be whipped.

Rt.211
Did you see a flash of black speed by you on Sunday. Yep, that was FK...biszatch!!
But fo real! Damn! I must have just missed you guys. I hit 211 on the way back from Lex on Sunday. I rode it all the way from 81 through Thorton's gap until it ends in Warrenton. I was on from about 2-4. What a sweet stretch of road! I actually even called J about it around 1:45pm to see if you guys would be up for it, but I didn't leave a message. Now I wish I had! Oh well...Next time...Cassie Fault.

Nice ink C, very very nice...

yeah, brutha, ya gotta get the tattoo.

Just got new tires today... Metzeler Sportec M1s. We'll see how they do. They have a really high profile, and running a 70 up front is kinda strange, it really wants to dip in once you crank it over. it also seems to want to counter steer, which is pretty fun. But they're steep, so hopefully the grip is what it's all cracked up to be.

Sounds like Sir Stiffler had an excellent ride! Wish I could have been there - but probably better to leave you two love birds alone... ya faaaagelas

If you're gonna get buzzed - at least it was by a cool bike! Way to chase him down crazy - even on your fat under-powered CBR... Incredible. Couldn't you have sacked the guy and towed the bike back for me? I would put an RS to good use I tell ya.

The rod is in for steering head bearings (finally) so I am BIKE-LESS for a day or two. Anybody got a moped I can borrow??

The ink dilemma is swirling in my noggin. If I am to get ink - this is the ink to get.

J's new ink is phenomenal! I will get a small one maybe left calve or somewhere else if you guys get them...you all are my friends for life so I'm down with it...maybe inside right ankle opposite of my other ink...you guys could get it near your other...oh, wait...that's right you guys don't have any ink...say, even my fiance, WHO'S A GIRL has ink...I say step up! beeeatches!

oh man, that was amazing! there's like maybe a quarter inch strip left on the rear tire and almost none on the front...down was way scarier than up...I actually looked and I HAD in fact scraped the bottom front of my right pipe and just grazed the set cause it couldn't have happend any other time- I've NEVER been over that far; I think I was too scared to notice at the time but I never felt out of control. It is absolutetly essential to be able to follow the kick ass lines and instructions from J...you should have seen him smoke that yahoo--he did it after waiting for me, and me yelling at him to go...so the guy totally had a head start and J. still smoked him...It was a great day and a great time and my confidence is already way higher...We really have to do that ride more often. You guys are right: you totally don't have to speed to get it...even going 50, the speed limit is a challenge for me on the downhill part and totally fun uphill...

"Stiffler rides 211...part 1a"

This was in my email box today: 'Thanks so much for the ride yesterday; that was a GREAT day! I'm kinda glad it was just the two of us cause I'm gay like that.'

Hey. I'll throw you under that bus for a dollar.

"Stiffler rides 211"

I took Stiffler out to Rt. 211 Sunday, and he did really well. Scrubbed his front tire almost all the way (that's what a short profile will do for you) and has amybe a half-iinch sissy strip on the rear. Only went wide once that I could see, and kept up with me on 66 through pretty hairy traffic.
The only time he got upset was when he got buzzed by some douchebag on a Aprilia RS250. I chased the fucker down and passed him mid-corner in embarrassing fashion. He tried to keep up, but couldn't. Granted I have more power, but he should have been able to rail through the corners. Cool two-stroke bike, dorky rider.
Sorry, no pictures. Sabrina has my camera and I keep forgetting to go get it.
Anywho, way to go, Stiffler!

No caption needed...

its so beautiful... I think I'm going to fucking cry.

Glad you got your oil. Amazingly I own a Harley that does usually leak oil! What the hell you know bout that. Do I remember this happening to you a couple of months ago too? or was that someone else?

... damn right you'll be out for the rodeo, but isn't that next week??

FK and rest of gang. I am bummed that I am working all weekend - of course the weather is perfect. Thats just how it works! When I have the weekend off, we'll have a freak hailstorm or something.

Lay some darkies and drag some metal for me gentlemen...

aaaaggggghhhh! oh God! How do I get this oil off my bike...ahhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...I'm just kidding, but not really...got it all cleaned up without scratching anything and the oil change out at Battley's...woooohooo, that place is only 18 miles from my house, takes less time than going to shitbags in Falls Church...damn, I hope I can switch my service and warranty(extended) to them...Coleman's Harold Baggs...thanks to J. for bailing me out with some oil...sorry I missed Blue...I'll try and get out for the rodeo tonight...hahahahahahahahahahaha...someone got a hummer in the bathroom...sweeeeeeeeet!

Sounds like a good ride, Padre. Not sure about meeting you, but I'll call your portable talking device if I'm going out to the mountains.

S'upp punks! I'm riding down to Lexington, VA this afternoon for a little fly fishing. I'm going to take the highway there, but may cut through the Blue Ridge on the way back. If any of you want to meet me in the mountains for a ride on Sunday call me on my mobile.

True, but "gophering" just doesn't sound as cool as "prarie dogging", does it? You go ahead and say "gophering", and sound like an idiot.

Prarie dog? Gopher? Both small round rodents that pop out of holes...

Have you been poppin' out of any holes lately?

Hey Pebble: Gopher? You mean Prarie Dog. I was Prarie Doggin'.
This phrase came about because of the proliferation of cubicles (aka veal fattening pens) in the workplace. You often have to poke yer head up to see what all the fuss is about.
Also before the dawn of cubicles there was no need for a rearview mirror that sticks to the top of your computer monitor. I'd be willing to be that gadget was invented by a guy who liked to look at porn at work and needed to know when someone was walking up behind him.
But wait: What came first, cubicles or monitors? Eric and Bennet probably know; they're old.

Finally - paintball thowdown pics have been developed. Just took a few unfortunately. The action on the field was too hairy to bring the camera... so what you have here are some friggin' posers.